This is one of the reasons men are more likely to be homophobic than women. Being vulnerable, receptive and at the same time safe, is appealing for many reasons. There is much less of a barrier between the viewer and amateur producer. The natural inclination to balance energy One reason more gay men prefer to be submissive is an issue of balancing energy. However, all this thinking can make it harder to go out of your mind and into your body, so that you can really enjoy the pleasure of the experience. Generally, the dominant or top only gets touched on his hands and genitals. When people talk about sexual tension or say there was a sexual charge in the air they are talking about polarity.
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First, in the typical gay scenario, whether vanilla or BDSM, the touch received by a top or dom is only on a very small area. In our Western cultures, we define masculinity based on action and accomplishment. One reason most gay men prefer being sexually submissive is that gay men have many more models today of how they can express and experience their sexuality than they did in the past. You had to leave your home to obtain them. What do I need to change? The difference may be subtle, but fundamentally it is easier to see yourself as possibly doing or experiencing something that an amateur has produced. Even with vanilla sex, as the top or leader you need to make decisions and gauge the right speed, intensity and flow of activities that will work best for your partner, not just yourself.